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Writer's pictureNivedita Chandra

"Guilty as charged!" - Walking the fine line between Self-Care and Being Selfish 

Updated: Feb 25





dog enjoying self care
Everyone needs it!

Understanding the importance of self-care is crucial in our journey toward emotional regulation, reducing stress, overcoming demotivation, and achieving emotional fitness.


Tradirionally, From a young age, we are taught the virtues of selflessness and altruism. While there are proven benefits to acts of kindness, there's a fine line between being generous and neglecting our own well-being. Socrates emphasized the importance of both caring for oneself and knowing oneself, highlighting the delicate balance required for a fulfilling life. In this blog, we explore why self-compassion and self-care are fundamental to creating a meaningful life for ourselves and fostering positive relationships with those we care about.


It is important to appreciate The Role of Self-Care in Emotional Regulation and combating de-motivation..

Here are some ways in which poor self care hinders our progress, well-being and overall potential to support others we care about.


Depleting Ourselves:

When we consistently prioritize the needs of others over our own, we risk draining ourselves of energy and desire. Giving from a place of abundance and happiness is far more effective than going through the motions out of a sense of obligation. Maintaining a certain regard for ourselves ensures that our contributions to others come from a genuine and positive place.


Recharging through Passion:

Engaging in activities we love recharges us, making us more vibrant and positive individuals. Taking time for personal interests and hobbies isn't selfish; it enhances the quality of our relationships. By being happy and present, we offer the best versions of ourselves to our families, friends, and colleagues.


Losing Our Real-selves:

In the pursuit of constant productivity and helping others, we may lose touch with our authentic selves. Sacrificing personal interests or neglecting the connections that define us can lead to a sense of emptiness. Sharing our true selves with others fosters deeper, more meaningful relationships.


Draining Others:

Neglecting our own needs can unintentionally burden those we care about. Seeking support from other adults, as suggested by relationship expert Pat Love, helps maintain a balanced dynamic, where each individual fulfills their needs independently, promoting healthier relationships.


Succumbing to the Inner Critic:

The critical inner voice often pushes us to achieve unrealistic objectives to prove our worth. This self-imposed pressure can lead to a desire for perfection and a belief that prioritizing our needs is selfish. Recognizing and challenging this critical inner voice is essential for maintaining a healthy sense of self.


Failing to Practice Self-Compassion:

Self-compassion improves well-being and benefits those around us. By being kind to ourselves, practicing mindfulness, and recognizing our shared humanity, we create a positive environment that fosters self-growth and understanding.


Allowing Stress to Prevail:

A constant cycle of stress, fueled by an unending list of responsibilities, negatively impacts mental and physical health. It also affects relationships, leading to tension and conflict. Taking time for self-care reduces stress levels, making us more available and positive in our interactions.


Impairing Performance:

Neglecting self-care impairs our focus and performance. Research by The Energy Project suggests that workers who prioritize their well-being perform better, emphasizing the connection between self-care and professional success.




In the pursuit of altruism, it's crucial to strike a balance by prioritizing self-compassion and self-care. Embracing our passions, maintaining authenticity, and recognizing the importance of personal well-being contribute to a more fulfilling life. By taking care of ourselves, we not only enhance our individual experiences but also become more positive, available, and giving members of our communities and relationships.


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