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Writer's pictureNivedita Chandra

Teenage Turmoil: How to Outsmart Your Rebellious Teen with Negotiation skills

Updated: Aug 1, 2023

As children grow into teenagers, their emotional and cognitive development undergoes significant changes. They start to develop their sense of identity, independence, and autonomy. As a result, negotiating with teenagers can often be challenging for parents. However, with the help of emotional intelligence and an understanding of cognitive biases, parents can learn effective ways to negotiate with their teenage children.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and understand emotions in oneself and others and to use this information to guide thinking and behavior. It is an essential skill for parents to have when negotiating with their teenage children. Teenagers tend to be more emotional than adults, and their emotions can influence their behavior and decision-making. Therefore, parents need to be able to recognise and understand their teenager's emotions to negotiate effectively.


One way to apply emotional intelligence is to validate your teenager's feelings. Validation is an acknowledgment of someone's emotions and their right to feel that way. When negotiating with your teenager, it's crucial to acknowledge their feelings and show empathy towards them. It can help to diffuse tension and establish trust and respect between you and your teenager. By doing so, your teenager is more likely to feel heard, understood, and willing to negotiate.

Another way to apply emotional intelligence is to use positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a technique used to increase th


e likelihood of a behavior occurring again in the future by adding a reward or positive consequence to the behavior. Positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool when negotiating with teenagers. By rewarding positive behavior, you are encouraging your teenager to continue that behavior. It can help to create a positive and collaborative atmosphere, making it easier to negotiate.

In addition to emotional intelligence, an understanding of cognitive biases can help parents negotiate with their teenage children. Cognitive biases are mental shortcuts or errors in thinking that can influence decision-making. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to cognitive biases because their brain is still developing, and they may not have developed critical thinking skills yet. One way to counter cognitiv


e biases is to encourage your teenager to consider different perspectives. Encourage your teenager to think critically and weigh the pros and cons of different options. By doing so, they are less likely to fall prey to cognitive biases and more likely to make informed decisions.

Another way to counter cognitive biases is to encourage your teenager to take a break and think before making a decision. Teenagers can often be impulsive and make quick decisions without fully considering the consequences. Encouraging your teenager to take a break and think can give them time to reflect on their decision and avoid making impulsive decisions.

In conclusion, negotiating with teenage children can be challenging, but with the help of emotional intelligence and an understanding of cognitive biases, parents can negotiate effectively. Validating your teenager's emotions, using positive reinforcement, encouraging critical thinking, and taking a break before making a decision are all effective strategies that parents can use.




By negotiating effectively, parents can help their teenagers develop their decision-making skills, increase their independence, and establish trust and respect in their relationship.




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