In life, We often do not have control over various situations. These situations can get extremely taxing due to our reaction to them. How we react to the events of each day can greatly influence how we handle, change, and get through challenging circumstances.
Meeting your reality with acceptance is a powerful approach. Now, what does this acceptance really mean? Does it mean embracing failures and succumbing to defeat? No. It simply means that you shift your energy from resisting this situation to simply acknowledging it.
Creating a life that we desire is a process. It requires constant effort, sometimes we may not even be able to see a bigger picture or instant gratification, it’s important that we trust the process and cultivate acceptance.
Accepting the Here and Now
Do you know that your emotions only last a few minutes? Then why do we feel hours and days of emotional turmoil at end? It’s because we resist, and engage in negative thinking which causes the emotions to keep dragging us for days!
We resist the situation, we resist the feeling, we want to feel differently and be in a different situation, with sadness comes regret, guilt, anger, frustration, and feeling unjust all because of our thoughts! Example- You did not get the job that you wanted for so long, You are bound to feel sad- a completely normal reaction to the situation. The thoughts that accompany it- Why did I not get in? I wish I had practiced for the interview more! The interviewer was a horrible man, The company is partial in hiring, I'm still lacking, I will never be successful. All these resistant thoughts prolong our suffering.
Embracing instead of fighting and resisting allows us to stop this emotional wave and reduce the turmoil. For example- Those who believe in Karma or Murphy’s law may actually experience less stress than others, I'll explain why. If something bad happens to you, someone does something bad to you, You may feel extremely angry, ask questions as to why did this happen, what did I do wrong, what could I have done to avoid this situation, Feelings of betrayal and unjust will haunt you. The reaction of this person would be- Its okay it happened, It was bound to happen, let’s move on. Can’t do much.
It is important to experience what you are feeling, It's not a good practice to push it away, What we can control however is our negative thoughts that accompany it, And mind you, This is not easy, It requires constant practice and a touch of mindfulness, When you feel yourself Spiraling, stop what you are doing and take in a deep breath, stop your thoughts, breathe slowly, If possible, hum or chant “Ohm” It activates your vagus nerve which calms your nervous system getting you in a state of relaxation.
HONOUR YOURSELF
As we grow older, so do our dreams, values, goals and expectations. We make plans and goals such as – I need to buy a house by the age of 23, Need to get married by 25, Have kids before I turn 30. It’s great to make plans, however strictly sticking to the plan may hinder the journey we take to reach it.
It’s important to be flexible and open to experiences. If we strictly adhere to the plans, any spike/detour/ failure can cause you to resist the situation. Even when we can't see or understand it, where we are right now is critical to the larger picture of creating what we want. We can find peace in the present and learn to be joyful in all stages of life if we practice accepting and honouring where we are in our process.
Bad experiences have a way of turning us for the better, I hate that something bad has the ability to guide us to be better however as they say – It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves, that can never, ever, be dimmed- Doe Zantamata.
TRUST YOURSELF
Cultivating a strong sense of trust that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and that good times are always ahead is part of honouring your process and finding acceptance.
One way to build our strength and trust muscle is to write down every instance where you had to face hardship and how it made you better or taught you an important life lesson. Just imagine if you had never experienced it, You may never have known or changed for the better. Some things cannot be taught in life, it’s only through experiences that you grow wiser, So each time a difficult situation comes your way be thankful for it, It is making you a better person, a smarter person, A wiser person.
Practising this will make challenges exciting for you! It will allow you to accept the good and bad in life without resistance. It will bring you peace of mind.
PRACTICE ACCEPTANCE ON A DAILY BASIS
Cultivating this practice of acceptance is the path to emotional freedom. As you may already know this change in your perspective will take daily practice and effort, however, it is worth it.
When you find yourself in a situation which brings an emotional uprise, it's important to feel the emotions that accompany it while pausing the negative thoughts because most of the time the thoughts that accompany them are untrue. Practicing positive thinking and mindfulness is a great way to get started.
Another powerful practice is to let go of the mental imagery and stories you create about situations and people. It's important to stick to the facts and focus on behaviours around you rather than your thoughts. When you are sad, it’s difficult to remember happy memories or even feel happy emotions, at such times we feel that this is the reality, This sadness and my current failures is what my life is, but as you know that is not the case.
It’s important to let go of stories we make to the situations, especially negative thoughts, feeling that your friend doesn’t like you because she did not answer your call or feeling that you hate the job because of one critical feedback from your manager.
Acceptance is the path to liberation. Life is going to suck 10 times more if you resist the present. We cannot love or live our lives peacefully if we are constantly fighting against it. Practicing acceptance is like having a warm mother’s embrace against the harsh cold life.
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